All posts by Silly Self Help

Silly Self Help and Other Absolutely True Short Stories Insight into the personal lives and processes of the creators of Patchkey. An account of the lighter side of social and emotional integration throughout life changes.

Take your bow

There are flies living in my house. As soon as I think I’ve killed them all, more appear. This has been going on for months. MONTHS!

And then I realized. It must be the way I am catching them. I keep clapping the air trying to catch them.

They obviously think I am applauding them, and keep coming back for their encore 😉


I Crack Myself Up

With three kids, there is a lot to do each morning. I have to wake them all up, get their lunches made, remind them to pack their homework, sign tests. The list goes on and on.

This one morning, we were in a really big rush. They wanted eggs. I kept saying no, we didn’t have time. I offered fruit. They wanted eggs. I said, “How about cereal?”. They said no, they wanted eggs. I said, “How about toast?”. They all shook their heads.

Time was ticking, their bellies were empty, and the tension was mounting.

Finally, I made an executive decision, gave them all granola bars and hurried them out the door. There was just no way I was going to CRACK under pressure 😉

(Crack. Eggs. get it?)

What timing!

Being new to the publishing world, I asked someone in the business that was helping me with a project what an editor’s role was. The following screen captions are what actually transpired:


Spit it out already

I have a LOT of patience. I mean A LOT. But even I have my limits. For the love of Pete, I wish fish would finally spit out the word they have been trying to say since they evolved into fish.

WA. WA. WA. WHAT W word are they trying to say??????


Common Ground

I was taking care of my mom’s plants while she was away. I am really not good at plant care.

I was heading over there one Sunday and Emilie says,

“How’s that been going?”

“Not well, I’m afraid”.

“What do you think your not doing well?”

“Well, I should be talking to the plants a lot more. That would help a lot. But I find it really difficult. To be honest, we don’t have that much in common.”



I LOVE math!!

The answer is either right or wrong.

It’s not up to interpretation like most things in this world.

It’s the one thing in life you can really COUNT on!! 😉



i just asked my daughter how she was. She said “well. I would have said good, but that’s what superman does”.