All posts by Silly Self Help

Silly Self Help and Other Absolutely True Short Stories Insight into the personal lives and processes of the creators of Patchkey. An account of the lighter side of social and emotional integration throughout life changes.

Bubble movements


One of my favourite parts of being pregnant was feeling the baby move around. I am 9 years out from having felt that feeling, so whenever stomach problems arise, I like to pretend those stomach bubbles moving around are the movements of a small baby. This may sound ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as my friend having her husband feel the baby move around in her pregnant belly, and then realizing they were sharing a loving moment cooing over her stomach’s air bubbles (read fas and bloating) and Not their baby. Now that’s ridiculous ๐Ÿ™‚

I can bend over again!

This made me laugh. I remember after I gave birth to my first, at the hospital i dropped my toothbrush and thought “oh no! I’ll never see it again!” Then i realized i had given birth and attempted to bend over something i had become accustomed to not doing anymore. And to my delight, the hard bump was gone and i was able to get something I dropped. I was elated. I thought “what next? Could it be? Am i really considering taking over the job of tying my own shoes again? Hallelujah!” And right then and then in the bathroom in the hospital, still in my open butt hospital gown, i did my happy dance! Shimmy shimmy shake shake ๐Ÿ˜œ 

It’s all relative!

My friend and I spent hours trying to find a word that means aunts and uncles combined. Like “siblings” does for sisters and brothers. Like “Parents” does for moms and dads. We thought “If only we could invent a word for them, we’d feel so proud to add a word to the world’s lexicon and the dictionnary. We can’t believe no one has done it yet!”

I then asked my 13 year for help. She said dryly  “um, how about relatives”.

My friend and I looked at each other and felt quite stupid.

“And the children shall lead the way….”

No time!

My friend’s car got broken into. He was insulted they didn’t steal his Ray Ban sunglasses. He thought they were still cool after 20 years.Instead  they only stole the 4$ in change.  

We thought this might have happened because the thieves were thinking “nice sunglasses, but i don’t have time to choose my summer face right now.  The cops could be here any minute, and i’m having a serious Mac Attack and need that change. Priorities people. Food first. Fashion second”.

They had a point. We all know how long it takes to choose the right pair of sunglasses. Choosing our public face takes time and a lot of shopping around. 

Duck!

The ducks from the neighbourhood keep sitting on different edges of my pool.

I called out to my 7 year old “there are ducks sitting on the pool. Come here to see them. She kept saying “what?” because she couldn’t hear me. I yelled out again and again “there are ducks sin our pool, come upstairs and see the ducks”.  Again and again she yelled back “what?”

I heard myself in frustration shortening my information to “DUCK! DUCK!”.

 It was so funny that I then yelled out “goose”. 

Go play duck duck goose everyone.