Category Archives: Family

Oops, Wrong Ritual.

This one goes out to those who follow some of the more traditional Jewish rituals.
Beth went to blow out her birthday candles. We were all a little emotional. She had had a rough year and it was a milestone birthday. As she closed her eyes to make a wish, she waved her arms and hands over the candles, essentially bringing the smoke towards her, then covered her face with her hands to make a wish. This is what one does when doing the prayer over the Shabbat candles. Not over the candles on a birthday cake! Maybe subconsciously she was trying to get by this year on a wish and a prayer instead of a wing and a prayer. Sorry to tell you this Beth. Dementia is hitting you early. Happy birthday kiddo!
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WWW

Kids figured out that saying World Wide Web has 3 syllables. Saying www has a total of 9 syllables. The shorthand takes longer to say than the actual words! Typing it may be faster, but when giving someone the address is takes too long to say. We need to rethink this. If we keep it only in English it could be “connect to all” (cta). Send in your recommendations. We need to change the status quo.
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One Way to Swatch the Kids

My dad worked all the time. He never did drugs. Or drank. But boy did he inadvertently get his 4 kids high. Doing child labour. Toxic glue in an un-air vented room a bit bigger than a closet. Had to cut tiny swatches of fabric to cardboard pages to make swatch books for his clothing business. It was a bonding experience to say the least. It sounds boring, but we never complained. Too busy laughing our heads off at nothing. To this day, him and my mom don’t realize how high we were. But my sisters and brother have very fond (and foggy) memories indeed. Maybe that’s why we all have such a strong work ethic.
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Vocabulary for the ages

3 year old Emma was opening a present. She asked her mom, “what is this, mommy?” Her mom replied, “one minute, you are having wedgie issues I am fixing.” Her daughter then thought the Russian doll she was asking about was called a wedgie and kept calling it that from then on. I like it. Pass it on. One day you too may be lucky enough to get a wedgie as a present.
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Lesson? Pay closer attention when asked a question by a child still in the learning phase. You can effect their vocabulary tremendously. Don’t take this responsibility lightly. Mess them up and embarrass them as much as possible. They will soon enough return the favor when teaching you the hip language of the day when they are teenagers.
If you’ll now excuse me, I need to go check “the Facebook” and attempt to crush some candy on it to beat my daughter’s high score. I think I’ll use the jaw breakers I never ate from Halloween. Hope the pieces don’t get stuck between my phone case and phone like last time. Her score is still way ahead of mine somehow. I can’t figure out why my score isn’t budging.

I Tricked Them, So Sue Me

Told the kids to go to sleep. It was too late to put the stickers in their new Barbie house. When they slept , I put the stickers in it. I didn’t have one as a kid and I was dying to decorate it. I wanted to make all the decisions about where the sticker furniture and area rugs went, and to make the stickers straight. They can continue the tradition I started and take over their kids presents and play with them the way they want, buy what they want. I’m sure dads did the same with the stickers on the toy race cars and tracks. So sue me, I tricked them. I’d do it again too. They are getting older and there are way more toys I have my eye on.

 

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